


Old Arguments

by Batmanfan11



Category: Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Genre: Chocolate Tasting, Christmas baking, Gen, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-22 10:48:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13165323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batmanfan11/pseuds/Batmanfan11
Summary: Bunny and North are enjoying themselves as they make some chocolate and pastries. An old competition resurfaces and a flashback is had. Can Jack help, along with the memories of his fellow Guardians and friends help these two love birds?





	Old Arguments

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays! My gift is for @nxghtlight for the 2017 ROTG Secret Santa. I hope you enjoy the fic!

“North, love, I needcha to understand that you’re wrong.”

“And Bunny, dear, I must disagree. My chocolate is far superior to whatever your little perishables make.”

Bunny sputtered, clearly offended that North would even dare to think that Christmas sweets were anything other than inferior to Easter sweets. Frustrated, Bunny flicked a piece of flour into the man’s face to get his annoyance across. It made little difference among the other ingredients littering North’s face; flour, chocolate, frosting, and some small, round gummies that got stuck in his beard. North only laughed as it landed in his pure white beard. Bunny took it among himself to pluck out the gummies from his beard whenever he was close enough to North. North would casually hum during the process, accepting the grooming with pride. Bunny would extract the gummies from their white forest and throw them in the waste bin and whatever didn't make it, the elves fought for.

“I’m just saying, North, you don’t have the-” loss for words, Bunny snapped his fingers to provide sufficient expression, “-when you make your sweets. Anyone can make a bit of chocky and give it away but I add the thrill of adventure with mine. Maybe you should take pointers from your elders.” Bunny finished grooming North’s beard before raking it through once with his claws. North looked down at his companion with adoration dripping from his eyes. Sadly, stirring took two hands so North just gave his companion a simple kiss to the ear as a ‘thank you’.

“If I agree with you, will you stop pestering with my appearance and help me?”

“Only if I can get a proper kiss.”

North smiled and put down the bowl before turning to face Bunny, hands landing gently on his soft hips. “Anything for you, моя любовь.” A silent glint in North's eye gave away to the true happiness he felt whenever he was close to his true love. Bunny leaned up and kissed him, relishing the feeling for it will not last long. Bunny's whiskers brushed up against North's cheek as soft as a butterfly kiss. North accepted their quiet kisses. Bunny placed his hands on North's chest and steadied himself. After all these years, his kisses still made him fluttery.

“Hello, I am here now.” Bursting through the kitchen door stood a lanky boy of snow and pettiness. “Please stop being gross.”

This only made the two men exaggerate their once simple kiss. North dipped Bunny, picking up his leg and made loud kisses to his neck and cheek. All while Bunny dipped back his head, placed the back of his hand on his forehead and cried out in a high pitched voice, “Oh, North!” Clearly fake, Jack placed a finger in his mouth and gagged. Jack saw this far too often to be even a bit phased but enjoyed acting like the loveless sack he was. He pushed himself up on one of the stools surrounding the island, reached for the bowl that North was once stiring. Shameless as the two lovers were, Jack took two fingers and ate from the bowl.

North had been watching him from the corner of his eye and surprised himself when he saw Jack carelessly eat from the bowl. North dropped Bunny, who called North a fucker mid fall.

“Jackson, have you no shame!” North snatched his bowl back.

“No." Deadpan and daring, Jack reached back for the bowl. North held it back and glared playfully at Jack.

"Can’t a simple winter spirit just have a taste?” Jack clasped his hands together and gave North his best big-eyed-pouty-lip look he could muster. North was a weak man to his charmingly good looks. From the ice stair-slide of '13 to the hallway-ice rink of '15, North always forgave Jack and even played along with him on his misadventures. That doesn't mean he was off the naughty list. Jack still received a stocking full of a coal but his presents were regular. North held on to his bowl and stared down at the winter spirit, disbelieving every word that came out of his mouth.

Bunny gave a swift kick to the back of North's calf to get North's attention. "Just give him the bowl! Once he's done with that mediocre chocolate, he can have a taste of the best chocolate this side of the universe." North dropped the bowl a few inches of the table top and threw his hands in the air. He turned to his Bunny on the floor exasperated that they could still be arguing about chocolate. Jack was quick to react and took back the bowl, eating it with a plastic spatula. 

Jack watched as the two continued to argue about chocolate and candy. Jack nodded to the other guardians and spirits to enter the kitchen. When the two started their arguments, it became the only element in their life. Toothiana flew in while the two were still arguing with Bunny on the floor. Jack offered her a bit of his chocolate but she declined and ate a mint from the glass bowl in the middle of the island. Baby Tooth was right behind her and flew to land on Jack's shoulder, happily taking bits of sweet chocolate. North was finally picking Bunny back up when Sandy flew in on his golden cloud. He made himself comfy on a plush cloud of sand and watched the couple. He also took up Jack's offer on chocolate, using his own spoon to get chocolate from the bowl. Katherine, Mother Goose, and her loyal companion, Nightlight, came by for a while once the _self proclaimed_ decorating contest began. Jack didn't know too much about them except that North would murder for Katherine and Nightlight looked _too_ much like him not to be related.

 _"Do you think they've seen us yet?"_ Sandy signed, laying on his stomach above Jack's head, eating from the same spatula Jack was at this point. The bowl was emptying and only a few spoonfuls were left. Their expressions mimicked one another.

"Most likely not." Toothiana quietly directed her fairies as she watched her two friends argue and compete for a fake title. She ate three mints since sitting at the island, more than she's eaten in a whole year. "Before we split ways, these two would have grand competitions. They would have it at both the Warren and here and they would have some of the most ridiculous challenges. Candy placement, outershell to inner goo, most original design, to name a few."

Katherine plucked a chocolate fill spoon behind Jack. "No one ever won. Because they would always want a rematch once they hit a tie. Officially, the competition is still on." Nightlight took a lick of the spoon before Katherine took the rest. Jack scrapped the rest of the chocolate from the bowl before giving into the food coma to come soon. 

"So, did they make ya'll the judges?" Everyone nodded. "I was the only one they didn't make eat anything. Even after heavy pestering because they needed a tie breaker." Toothiana finished off the mint she had in her mouth with a loud crunch. "They knew that if they pushed too hard, I would beat them back to the 12th century." Sandy giggled, making a sand picture of Toothiana and her elusive swords chasing after a sand North and a sand Bunny. Katherine giggled and smacked Sandy's arm. 

Jack turned up toward Sandy, still sucking on the little bits of chocolate left on the spatula. "So, Sandy, how did these competitions happen?" Sandy shook with glee, a silent jingle being heard by only those that listen. He waved his hands before him and created a varying of shapes and places.

* * *

The year was 1650. The Warren was alive with blossoms and eggs while the faint flow of the dye river made its rounds around the meadow. The egg statues sat still in their positions and watched over the spring sanctuary. The air was hardly ever disturbed but today was not normal, in fact most days weren't anymore. Ever since the group of brave heroes, called guardians by their 'employer', defeated their foe to the point where he wouldn't be a problem for a long time. Relaxation was tough but once Katherine matured enough to be considered a mother to the children of the world, the friends realized that being on guard constantly wouldn't do them any good. So came the friendly chocolate competitions. 

Bunny and North had both started a small argument on who was more liked in the world which turned into why they liked them more. The argument spiraled until they came to the conclusion that the only difference they could see was how their products were made and since Bunny only made chocolate, logically, it could only be the chocolate. It was so ridiculous that none of their friends took them seriously when they said they would be judging their chocolate. They realized how serious it was once they all ended in the Warren, with Bunny and North cooking and arguing over the roar of an oven and their friends at a table with a plate in front of each of them. Except for Toothiana who was there to keep score with her faeries.  

They were given the same ingredients, the same instruments, the same time; it all just came down to the finished products. Bunny was still strung up to tight and wore his green coat and kept his glasses on during the baking. He swore on his life that using the most logical way of using his ingredients will produce the best type of chocolate and give him more options for future decades. North disagreed, repeatedly talking to Bunny over their intense cooking to give his read on both their cooking and how he felt emotionally about their products.

"You must feel the heat and the movement of the spoon against the creamy chocolate. What would a bunch of symbols do? Hm? Nothing but give kids headaches if asked what's in it. Bunny, you lack emotion!" Before finished his latest comment, he took a lick of his batch to taste it.

Bunny scoffed. "My world and the world you live in North are all made up of the same elements. This includes food and chocolate. If you can see the bigger picture, you get a better perspective." He took a wiff of his cooking and nodded. "Also, eating your chocolate before using it will only cause a bigger stomach." Bunny started pouring his hot chocolate into molds for a waterfall landscape he had in his mind.

North only took another lick. "Yes, _Ombric_."

"I heard that!"

Bunny rolled his eyes. Only a man of mechanics would use a magician as an insult. Or as much as an insult that a literal magician could be. "North, one day that attitude of your will be the end of you." He scraped off the top layer of chocolate from the mold and landed in back into the bowl. He stirred it back together and placed the bowl back on the table so he had slightly hit the mold to get rid of the bubbles. "Oh and North."

"Yes, Bunny?"

"Get rid of the beard net. You don't need it. It's hardly an inch from your face and that little curl doesn't count."

A loud gasp could be heard over the other's conversations. "I'll have you know you fluffy butt alien, I do have a beard! I just take the time to groom mine, unlike you. And I will have an amazing beard! Greater than Ombric's!"

"I can still hear you!"

"Besides! If I don't need one, then you need a full body net! You're an actual animal! That is covered in fur!" Frustration set in his scowl. How dare this handsome alien man think anything less than his beard. He was sure that Bunny liked the short yet stylish beard and mustache. Oh well.

Bunny was a little harder to rise a fight from. "You're right, I am an animal and I probably groom twice as much as you. You should stay back and take pointers on how to really take care as something as magnificent as my pelt." Whether Bunny meant it as an invitation or not, Bunny still hoped he would take up on the offer.

Back at the table, Katherine rolled her eyes and continued her game of thumb wars. It was a fantastic game the village children taught her before she got to her story of the day. "I promise, Nightlight, those two are bound to get together." A single shake of his head was her only response as they continued to play their game.

* * *

 

"You still using those old techniques from the 17th century? That's sad, mate. Stuck in your old ways. And it looks like the old way literally stuck to you." While referencing North's protruding stomach, Bunny persistently placed each frosted flower on his chocolates and pastries, making a sweet wonderland of food, flowers, and flavors. It held an amazing resemblance to the Warren or to any lush valley of life. Bunny might of added a few drops of green food coloring. 

"Funny, Bunny. How old are you again? And you still refuse to a use a modern stove?" North was delicately placing each white chocolate snowflake on his winter landscape. A decorated Christmas tree adored the center of his creation with presents and snow piles surrounding the bottom. Jack watched as North placed most of the color inside his pastries so when someone cut into it, color threw up in their eyes. Jack wouldn't be surprised if it was confetti flavored.

Jack licked his teeth loudly, disgusting Nightlight. "Have they ever eaten each other's chocolate during the competitions?" Katherine shook her head while Sandy made a question mark above his head then a swift shake of his head. Toothiana followed suit. "They've always made others try it. Something about swaying the competition and extra arms." Jack rolled the idea in his head. Neither of them had a taste of each other's chocolate before and he bet his pond that if they just ate a piece, they'll come to a compromise. Or at least they would understood that they both have good sweets. After a quick list of pros and cons on his plan, he decided to put it into motion with a swift nod to the head.

Just as Jack was going to tell the pair his great idea, North shot up and threw his hands above his hands. "HA! I am finished before you!"

"Shut up, North! I just finished!," He huffed as he looked over to North's creation, "oh, very original landscape you got there, mate. It _so_ doesn't show you have a clear favorite in the Guardians." 

"Bunny, you know you are my only favorite in the Guardians! Jack doesn't come next to you, my love."

Bunny was clearly blushing under his fur but had to keep up a little bit of his reputation. Their soft moment was only broken for a second with the sound of gagging but both men ignored him. North leaned over with a palm up and Bunny accepted the gentle palm resting on his cheek. North smiled down at him."But Christmas is still better than Easter."

"You jackass!"

"Darling, you know we must not fight in front of the kids!"

"Hi, yes! It's I, everyone's favorite! If ya'll could just excuse me for one moment _but_ have either of you ever eaten each other's chocolate or is there some kind of assumption thing that ya'll just made up?" Jack asked resting his pointing finger on the side of his face once he was done. "Like, have you two just assumed that the others chocolate was bad or like, was it bad in the beginning and now you just refuse to eat it again?"

North and Bunny were oddly quiet, looking away from the subject and each other.

"I mean, I can't actually have chocolate without becoming a multi-armed beast, mate, and I couldn't come up with a reason to just eat a piece of chocolate. Especially one that I, damn guess I'm exposing myself here, one that I assumed was already gross." Bunny crossed his arms together and shrugged, kicking the ground with his foot. Jack directed his gaze to North.

"I eat everything. I can't remember if I have or not but it can't possibly be better than mine!" Bunny groaned at his response and slightly kicked him in the back of the leg again.

"North, for moons sake, just have a piece of Bunny's. Bunny can have a piece if he wants to," Katherine chimed in while Nightlight glowed in the back to agree with her. North looked toward Bunny to make sure it was okay for him to take a piece. Bunny moved a little to the side to let him have a piece. North then took a piece of chocolate sticking up from the baked "ground". He put it in his mouth as started to chewed, scrunching up his face in questioning, taking the time to actually eat the chocolate and evaluate it. The group of friends all leaned in once he swallowed to piece to hear his verdict on the chocolate.

"It's not bad."

Furious. Angered. Frustrated. Humiliated. "NOT BAD!!?!?!? NOT BAD???? I WORK HARD ON MY CHOCOLATE AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO SAY 'NOT BAD'! I SHOULD MAKE YOU SLEEP ON THE COUCH FOR A CENTURY YOU RUSSIAN BEAR!" North only chuckled with tears in his eyes. He didn't think he would offended Bunny as much as he did and bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. This only made Bunny madder as he struck him on his chest to get his attention. "You twat! you have some nerve!"

North finally let out his laughter as Bunny continued to squawk on. "Oh, you dick."

"Oh, my love, please do not be mad at me. I was only playing a prank on you. My honest opinion is that, it's very sweet and tangy and wonderful and it's a great piece of chocolate."

"You're only saying that because you're in trouble."

"Nope," North took Bunny's hand in his, "I really mean it. It's a fine piece of chocolate. Good job."

After wiping away some tears, North handed him a piece of the chocolate present under the tree. Bunny took a small piece from the present, a corner, and placed the present back into the winter wonderland. He placed the chocolate on his tongue and chewed it as much as he could and swallowed the rest. He patiently waited to his extra abilities to arrive in the next ten minutes but until then, he would return the favor to North. North leaned on the side of the table and raised his eyebrow, waiting for his details.

"Yours isn't terrible."

North smiled and kissed Bunny on the forehead. As much as he would of loved to of made a scene, he knew how Bunny got once he got chocolate in his system. He knew better than to piss of a Pooka who just got their powers. "Thank you love."

Jack gagged once more for only his group to hush him.


End file.
